InnerSelf

by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. Some of you might be thinking, "I'd love to start dating, but who would want to date someone with four children, a dog, and two parakeets?" Don't assume just because you have children, you're less desirable. There are plenty of people who like children and who want to date someone with children.

by Julia Loomans.

When I was little, my mom and I used to have a lot of fun turning old ideas around and changing the meaning into something we enjoyed more. When we heard someone say, "I'm going to kill two birds with one stone," we changed it to "I'm going to feed two birds with one seed!

by Diane and Julia Loomans.

Ask your children two simple questions: "What is a happy home like?" and "What makes our home feel good?" The answers are usually about small, everyday things. Feeling good, encouragement, kindness, play, and connection with mom or dad are at the top of the list. Almost never have children mentioned exotic trips, pools, large houses, or expensive clothes or toys.

by Eric Maisel, Ph.D. Family communication is possible, but love must be the lubricant. Here is a bonus tip: feel. If you open up your heart, pain may spill out -- but so will love. It is then that communicating will begin. Talking about things like love, kindness, and generosity, and not "problems", might be the route to family change.

by Cassandra Eason. In pregnancy and in some cases even before, quite a high proportion of mothers believe they have been in contact with their unborn children. Some of the women studied found their bodies picking up their unborn babies' feelings. "Every once in a while, I have a feeling but I don't know where it comes from. And then I realize that I am not the one having the feeling."

by Alfie Kohn.

A look at the requirements of a good classroom - the good signs and the not so good signs. From furniture, to posters on walls, students' attitudes, teacher attitude, noise level, class discussions, and more. Gives good things to look for as well as things to watch out for.

by Sobonfu E. Somé.

A lot of us suffer a great deal in our lives because our inner child has old wounds that have never been healed. It is important to know how to overcome our old wounds, because all too often they stand in the way of our ability to fully love ourselves, other people, and the children in our lives. Our old wounds often become our children's burden.

by Phil Laut. Every generation of parents dreams, works, and saves so that their children experience greater personal prosperity than they. Until the last few years, the steady advances in purchasing power of the average American has made this dream attainable by most. Nevertheless, financial instruction continues to be neglected in school systems and in most families. Perhaps for the first time in American history, better money attitudes and management skills will be required curriculum for the next generation.

by Lucia Capacchione.

Birth can be scary, and it can also be glorious. Fear of the unknown causes anxiety in many expectant parents. Empowering yourself with information, knowledge, and the support of experienced people can turn fear into joyful anticipation. It can mean the difference between being a passive recipient of health care services and becoming an active participant in the experience of welcoming your child into the world.

by Diane Chambers.

How your young children spend their time out of your care will have an enormous impact on how well they perform, both socially and academically, in the future. The following are a few suggestions about choosing daycare and how to ensure your child is getting the most from a childcare situation.

by Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. A child will learn ethical philosophy by observing how you treat others around you. Severity is sometimes necessary, mercy is sometimes necessary, and mildness is sometimes necessary. Use your head. Think things out before overreacting to situations. Do not moralize with the child. Speak of actions and behaviors in terms of real consequences.

by Francesca Cappucci Fordyce. Parenting is the most difficult job there is because of the immense responsibility of shaping another human being. A child's character and inner structure are like putty in the hands of his parents. Parents hold the power to shape and mold a child's vulnerable constitution. With such big stakes...

by Francesca Cappucci Fordyce.

When parents have a baby, they unwittingly have to deal with their own brittle past. At every new stage, memories sneak up. A parent recalls what happened when they were that age. Just as we cope with unfulfilled expectations, the most effective way to avoid recalling childhood memories is to keep moving. There is a syndrome of "running parents", always on the go. The neurosis of running becomes a family affliction, parents insist that their children remain busy as well.

by Mario Kamenetzky.

The most important decision faced by a modern household with children is how to harmonize the time and energy invested in satisfying financial needs, career ambitions, parental responsibilities, sexual urges, and intellectual and recreational cravings...

by Vimala McClure.

If you grew up in a home where you were either neglected or constantly on the losing end of a win-lose situation, you will be trying to build responsiveness and responsibility in yourself at the same time that you try to maintain it in your household -- not an easy task by any means, but one you can handle.

by Doreen Virtue. There is a new "breed" of humans among us and they are here to usher in the new age of peace. These powerful and intuitive people have little tolerance for dishonesty. They are on Earth so that they can teach others about the importance of speaking truthfully and living in harmony.

by David Walsh, Ph.D. Each of us as parents must identify the values we have intentionally taught and displayed to our children. But, we must also ask ourselves another question: What values have we as a society taught our children? Every morning when we pick up our newspapers we see more and more of the consequences of this "education". We know that our kids are in deep trouble because of what we as a society have done.

by Jann Mitchell. Parents of teenagers, take heart! There is affection after adolescence. Even friendship. For those of you who’d like to deep-freeze your teen till twenty-one — you’re not alone. It’s a toss-up whether puberty is tougher on the kids or the parents...

by Susan Fitzell.

Positive role models are critical to a child's development. Girls need adults in their lives who model assertiveness, strength, caring, and responsiveness. We need to empower them to make decisions and solve problems within the safety net of our love and guidance. Girls need to see us working to continually improve our ability to communicate our needs, hopes, and concerns so that we nurture others but don't lose ourselves.

Acceptance is the hallmark of many Eastern teachings. Author Melodie Beattie says, "Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible." You are able to make the space for change if you accept and validate what is. The opposite of acceptance and validation is judgment and denial, which make us tense up, lose our center, criticize ourselves and others, and hold impossible standards for everyone. When we are being judgmental, we invalidate ourselves and others.

by Annette Geffert and Diane Brown. Adolescence is an amazing time, filled with countless opportunities and challenges for your daughter. She is facing many of the decisions that will shape her adult life. To successfully handle these potentially life-altering situations, she needs a strong internal decision-making center.

by Johann Christoph Arnold.

 It is one thing to read (or write) about bringing up children, and quite another to actually do it. Words are easy to come by; so are anecdotes and suggestions. Yet without deeds, the soundest educational theory is useless...

by Johann Christoph Arnold.

I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born.  Vast numbers of children are endangered by a one-sided approach that sees them solely in terms of their ability to be fruitful -- that is, to achieve and succeed.

by Dr. Brenda Davies.

Don't be hard on yourself or anyone else, but see that some of these games have been handed down for centuries like family heirlooms. Every one of them can be righted, and often the first major step is to recognize them and refuse to...

by Montel Williams and Jeffrey Gardère, Ph.D.

Despite all of the hours you will spend in conference with professional educators in the years ahead, never lose sight of the fact that you are your children's most important teacher. You are their first line of attack and their last line of defense against indifference and routine in your neighborhood schools.

by Lee Carroll & Jan Tober.

Anger is at a high level, mostly due to the frustration of a generation of parents and educators who feel that they've done their best, but that something has slipped between the cracks. We continue to believe that the core answer to the phenomenon...

by Johann Christoph Arnold. For years, psychologists, educators and church leaders have warned about subversive and decadent influences on children in our society. In my books on parenting, I have pointed to these dangers and suggested that the greatest trap is not anger or abhorrence, but indifference.

by John Taylor Gatto.

Two institutions at present control our children's lives: television and schooling, in that order. In centuries past, the time of childhood and adolescence would have been occupied in real work, real charity, real adventures, and the realistic search for mentors who might teach what you really wanted to learn.

GOD, IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT TODAY'S SOCIETY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? -- Peter, 15 yrs old -- I would change your beliefs about who you are, and who I am, and how life is. I would cause you to notice that you and I are One, that you are likewise one with everything and everyone else...

by John Taylor Gatto. For a while I think we need to make community service a required part of schooling. Besides the experience in acting unselfishly that it will teach, it is the quickest way to give young children real responsibility in the mainstream of life.

by Johann Christoph Arnold.

One of the oldest pieces of advice for families is the Fifth Commandment of Moses: 'Honor your father and your mother,' which continues, 'that your days may be long in the land...' This is the only one of the Ten Commandments that includes a blessing and a promise.

What is it about saying, flat out, 'I love you' to our children that has been shunned by many and may still constitute a taboo among middle-aged parents today? Novels, movies, indeed most cultures invest 'I love you' with strong erotic content. The deep, romantic, feeling-tone of the phrase reinforces the taboo...

by Daisaku Ikeda.

Our youth, to whom we will entrust the twenty-first century, look upon neither their future nor their world with bright hope. This is why I feel compelled to discuss the problems of our youth, particularly in the advanced industrialized nations...

by Lorna Wing, M.D.

Parents have to cope with a series of problems, some of which are practical and some of which are emotional. The parents of any child with a long-term disability have to undergo a change of attitude when they first learn the truth and this is a painful process. They may have feelings of guilt, which are a waste of mental energy that can be turned to better use.

by Robert Rabbin.

During the first few months of 2003, I was taught something remarkable by 123 children, from 2 to 13 years of age. There is something remarkable about kids: they experience life in a way that expresses deep and profound wisdom. Their wisdom is born of their own connection to life and to living things.

by Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D. & Jeannine Lemare Calaba, Psy.D.

   How do you help your child achieve a positive sense of worth? By teaching him how to appreciate himself. Do this by: 1. First, no matter how your child is behaving, find something within him to value and be grateful for. 2. Then, point out to your child the specific quality or action you are appreciating about him.

by John Izzo, Ph.D. Children seem able to find wonder in the simplest of things -- an unusual bug on the sidewalk, a puddle that is particularly deep, a small paper airplane. As we age, somehow our capacity for awe and wonder is diminished, just as our skin loses its elasticity. So how do we recapture the experience of wonder?

by Susan Winston.

Twenty-four of us sat nervously on unforgiving wooden benches. It was a day of mixed emotions. We all knew that behind our own personal happiness was a deeply disturbing practice here in China, a quiet genocide that yearly claims the lives of thousands of female babies and children. This was the day my husband, Jim, and I were to adopt our daughter, Nikki Kate Winston.

by Doreen Virtue Ph.D.

 Children are often perfectionists, and they can be very hard on themselves. One of the reasons why they become aggressively defensive when you scold them is that they're already painfully aware that they've made a mistake. Help your children understand...

by Morton & Barbara Kelsey

Let's look at some concrete examples of how parental attitudes tend to shape children's sexual identities. Certainly the lack of emotional affection and touch in many homes causes some youngsters to fail to relate sexuality and affection and such parental modeling can cause later sexual confusion. How parents treat the sexual interests and play of children can also have a profound effect upon the adult lives of those children.