InnerSelf

by Bret Stephenson. School was never designed to replace parents, but that is what has happened. In the past, whether the parents were farmers or shopkeepers, their children were with them throughout the workday which gave children a very real...

by Sharon Astyk. The best thing we can do is offer our children a good and protected childhood that simultaneously prepares them for the future they will live in. That means we have to change how we parent...

by Bret Stephenson. Older cultures did not have the kinds of adolescent problems we are now experiencing. However, they did have to deal with typical adolescent dynamics. Even in ancient times and primitive cultures, parents wrestled with their adolescents’ moods, desires, and rebelliousness....

by Deanna Duke. What does ADHD have to do with toxins? Well, there have been a number of theories and studies done on the effects of environmental toxins influencing the increase in ADHD in individuals, most notably artificial flavoring, preservatives and coloring...

by Kathleen McCue. A teenager facing a parent's illness may go off in all kinds of different directions, and that's okay — that's normal. A parent's grave illness brings demands that most teens don't even begin to know how to handle. As adolescents, they're...

by Kathleen McCue. Think about a bright twelve- or fourteen- or sixteen-year-old. One night she hears, or overhears, that her dad has something called a "gli­oma." What will she do? There's a chance she'll head straight for the computer and Google "glioma."

by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. Some people have a Life Purpose that just affects a few, while others are spiritually contracted to help thousands of people. Just like in an orchestra, every player is equally important. The piccolo player and the first violinist are both crucial to the music's orchestration.

by Shakti Gawain. Many parents think they have to protect their children from their (the parents’) confusion or so-called negative feelings. They think that being a good parent means maintaining a certain role — always being patient, loving, wise, and strong. In fact, children need honesty — they need to...

by Chris Keam. For parents, cycling with their children opens up a range of possibilities. A bicycle can bring out the kid in a grown-up — and give a kid a chance to show resilience and strength. When those things happen, everybody wins...

by Dr. Caron Goode. If we knew that our children were our planetary and societal salvation and held the answer to the questions of how to survive and thrive into the next century, how would we treat them? Collectively, the statistics regarding our children's state of consciousness are frightening.

by Jerral Hicks, Ed.D. If a parent wants to raise a child who is self-centered, uncaring, unable to take care of himself, and most likely to fail as an adult, just do the following...

by Tom Sturges.

If fear of punishment is a motivation that keeps your daughter from calling you when she needs you the most, you may need to examine your emergency procedures. The chance of real harm befalling her, out there alone in the world, simply because she is afraid to tell you...

by D. Keith Cobb M.D.

When a parent dies, the surviving adults are often at a loss as to how to help the grieving child. Based on his experience helping families who are in deep mourning, Dr. Cobb offers eight guidelines that can help adults gently guide children through their difficult grieving process.

by Julie Holland M.D. Psychospiritual exploration, soul-searching, communing with the self — these are normal and important Components of the human experience. Adolescence is a prime time for this sort of exploration, and for questioning, testing limits, and defying both death and authority. The chances that your kids aren’t going to have to tangle with cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs are virtually nil. Drugs are a bit like...

by Thom Hartmann. The following text, "Yesterday's Child" by Janie Bowman, was originally published in The Missing Piece (Winter 1993), the newsletter of the Learning Disabilities Association of Washington State. "After only three months of formal education, Yesterday's child walked out of his school in a fit of rage. ...Today's child would be in long-term therapy for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Pervasive Development Disorder, or some other behavioral disorder."

The complexity of today's parenting makes it important to develop some basic principles to guide parents. In Dr. Sylvia Rimm's book Smart Parenting, four chapters emphasize the foundational concepts that can help parents raise happy, achieving children. She has now developed a top ten list to summarize essential principles to assist parents.

Self-mutilation is a big problem facing teens today. This affliction is the result of fear instilled by trauma. It is as though the brain contains a computer chip, which has been programmed, because of trauma, to self-mutilate. It is a mental trap that has taken innumerable young people hostage...

by Barry and Joyce Vissell. For almost every couple, the thought of bringing a child into this world triggers a whole range of emotions. There can be a tremendous thrill of joy, and many couples are aware of this; but all too often this joy is covered by fear, doubt, or...

by Bret Stephenson. Traditional societies transmitted to the young not only lineage and survival information but also the beliefs and expectations of the culture. This system perpetuated the health, longevity, and survival of the community and its values. To do this, it was critical to have...

by Jim Taylor, Ph.D. You can provide your child with several essential ingredients for gaining independence. You must give your child love and respect. These expressions give her the sense of security that allows her to explore and take risks. You must show confidence...

by Jim Taylor, Ph.D. What do kids really need to be successful and happy people? Parents, educators, and society as a whole couldn't ask a more important question. How you answer this question will determine how you will raise your child, and, ultimately, what kind of adult he will become... 

by Patricia Evans. When a parent faces a stressful situation and their child needs attention, the urgencies of the moment can invite a hasty response. For this reason, it is helpful for parents to remind themselves of the need to treat their child with goodwill and respect, even when they feel stressed...

by Frederick Leboyer, M.D.

For the baby, the world is a terrifying place. It is the vastness, the enormity of the whole experience of being born which so terrifies this little traveler. Blindly, madly, we assume that the newborn baby feels nothing. In fact, he feels . . . everything. Everything, totally, completely, utterly, and with a sensitivity we can't even begin to imagine.

by Joseph Chilton Pearce.

  Bonding gives an intuitive, extrasensory kind of relationship between mother and child. Bonding is a felt process, not available to discursive thought, language, or intellect. It is a communion that bypasses our ordinary reasoning mind. The mother senses the infant's need to evacuate the same way she recognizes her own bodily needs, but the communion of bonding goes beyond just physical processes.

by Ellen Rosenberg.

There are many parents who would never imagine that their child doesn't have the nerve to talk with them. When I first created my school programs more than twenty years ago, I was amazed at how many thousands of children told me they felt this way and hadn't let their parents know. How close do you think your child feels to you? Being close with your child can be a life-changing, fulfilling, enriching lifetime endeavor.

by Susan Gingras Fitzell.

It is possible to eliminate war and destruction, if we start with our youth, educating them to understand the conditioning that teaches them to hate those different from themselves. If we teach our children to understand the barriers to peace and the skills to resolve conflict, we have invested in our future. We've invested in a peaceful world. We need to start somewhere. We can begin in our homes and our schools. Plant the seed, nurture it and watch it grow.

How you ask your children to listen, and what you choose to see in them will help determine their response to you. Don't allow your ego to make you feel guilty for not doing it perfectly. The myth of the perfect parent is as much a myth as that of the perfect child. What we need to stop thinking is that the monumental task of parenting and educating our children is solely in our hands. It isn't. It's a joint venture, a sacred trust between ourselves, our children, and God.

by Diane and Julia Loomans.

The desire to make a dream come true has been a part of cultures throughout history. The ancient Peruvians drew their goals in symbols. The Egyptians created elaborate rituals to move from desire to actualization. Here are a few simple steps to follow to help set goals successfully...

by Lucia Capacchione.

The first few days of a baby's life can bring a deeply spiritual opening between parent and child. The sheer mystery of birth and the vulnerability of this tiny being you hold in your arms are truly awe-inspiring. Many mothers and fathers have told me that they had no way to predict the powerful emotions that poured forth during those first days of parenting. In some cultures, the time immediately following birth is sacred and protected for both mother and child.

by Alfie Kohn. The interesting question is whether those of us who were successful students achieved this success by memorizing an enormous number of words without necessarily understanding them or caring about them. Might we have spent a good chunk of our childhoods doing stuff that was exactly as pointless as we suspected it was at the time?

by Sonia Choquette. A common childhood fear is fear of the dark. Many children become terrified of the dark and can't go to sleep in a darkened room alone, convinced the "bogeyman" or some other night creature is waiting in the shadows to get them. I had a client whose son was terrified...

by Jack Heinowitz, Ph.D. It's pretty hard dealing with the idea of really being a father. Scary feelings come up about accepting it, getting involved, learning what to do and how to participate in family life. The commitment part is a heavy thing for me right now. The dramatic lifestyle changes that accompany the entry into fatherhood bring up fears of all sorts.

by Francesca Cappucci Fordyce. Just because a father lives at home, does not mean he is available to his son or daughter. Fathers often overbusy themselves, so they don't have to deal with their own responsibility and subliminal pain from their childhood. A parent has to resolve his own issues before he can completely be present and mindful of his children.

by Alina Guiterrez. The most important job a person can have is to teach another. Educators have a great responsibility toward those they teach, because everything they do and say has a lifelong impact upon their students. For this reason, it is very important that the children and youth be empowered by allowing them to make their own decisions...

by Samuel Osherson, Ph.D.

We all know that it's best to avoid getting into control struggles with our kids -- battles over going to bed on time, cleaning up rooms, getting homework done, completing college applications when they're due. Yet power struggles are not so easy to avoid. What parent doesn't at times feel locked in a battle in which no one wins and no one surrenders?

by Denis Donavan, M.D., M.ED., and Deborah McIntyre. Many parents today will tell you that they're not getting what they want from their children. Quite a few parents have actually thrown in the towel. By contrast... we believe that many frustrating and seemingly insurmountable problems actually have simple, easy to understand causes, as well as equally simple and easy to understand solutions.

by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D. The number of children on Ritalin is rising at a truly alarming rate. At the same time, the incidence of clinical depression among adults -- including parents -- is almost epidemic, and continues to rise. We need to understand the connection between...

by Francesca Cappucci Fordyce. Parents, single or not, might consider co-sharing, i.e. families helping each other out. The theory behind co-sharing works in principle like the adage "it takes a village to raise a child". Co-sharing gives single mothers more time because they are sharing the responsibilities. The guilt of not having enough and not being around...

by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. Some of you might be thinking, "I'd love to start dating, but who would want to date someone with four children, a dog, and two parakeets?" Don't assume just because you have children, you're less desirable. There are plenty of people who like children and who want to date someone with children.

by Julia Loomans.

When I was little, my mom and I used to have a lot of fun turning old ideas around and changing the meaning into something we enjoyed more. When we heard someone say, "I'm going to kill two birds with one stone," we changed it to "I'm going to feed two birds with one seed!