InnerSelf

New Attitudes - New Possibilities

Intimacy

Intimacy in Relationships

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself First

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself Firstby Julie McIntyre. None of us ever truly forgets the nurturing, warm comfort of the womb. We spend our lives trying to re-create that feeling of being held and protected. Nor do we forget the pain of individuation, of leaving Mother and home. We seek throughout our lives to have the separation and the resulting loneliness filled with meaningful relationships...

Read more: Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself First

How To Get What You Want from a Man (For Women Only!)

article by Jamie Rose: How To Get What You Want from a Man (For Women Only!)by Jamie Rose. When I'm talking with my guy, especially if it looks like we're heading toward an argument, it's really important that I remember to listen carefully to what he is really saying, and not just his words. I need to hear what's beneath his words, which, when we're having a disagreement, most of the time is some version of, "I feel like you don't...

Read more: How To Get What You Want from a Man (For Women...

Are You My Valentine? Loving the One You're With

Are You My Valentine? Loving the one you're withby David W. McMillan, Ph.D. There can be plenty of tension associated with Valentine's Day. One cold, dreary February 14th, I am at the grocery store at 5 p.m. In the parking lot I can see men getting out of their cars and scurrying into the store. Inside at the express lane checkout counter are five men standing in line, each holding a dozen roses...

Read more: Are You My Valentine? Loving the One You're With

Prayer of Love

I pray that I no longer seek for the other one for I have found completion in me. And if in my solitary journey,  I happen to join with another soul, let our hearts merge because we have so much love to give... And if we find ourselves taking, let our receiving be based on...

Read more: Prayer of Love

Intimacy

Marie T. Russellby Marie T. Russell.

Someone once said that intimacy is spelled into-me-see. Thinking it of it that way sheds light on why it frightens us. Letting someone see into us when we are afraid of letting them see our hidden "faults and foibles" can be frightening...

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The Wholeness of Love-Making

Michelle Rios Rice Hennelly & R. Kevin HennellyFew of us grasp the wholeness that is love-making. In true love-making, two people come together, open in body, mind, heart, and soul. They are intimate in love, and they join together and become one. They move together with pleasure toward an ecstatic moment...

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Love, Compassion, and Money

Stuart WildeThere's a psychological war that goes on in us humans between self-hate and self-love. It's a part of another battle that persists: the energy war between living and dying, building energy and depleting energy. The two issues are wrapped up with abundance and love, and they can very dramatically affect your ability to earn money and pull abundance to you...

Read more: Love, Compassion, and Money

Sleeping Beauty

Wendy Paris"A childless royal couple finally has a baby... Life spins along normally for the next sixteen or so years. One day, the princess discovers..." This version of "Sleeping Beauty complete with the ogre mother was recorded by Charles Perrault. The Sleeping Beauty story is believed to date back at least to the fourteenth century.

Read more: Sleeping Beauty

Notes On Intimacy

Shepherd Hoodwin

by Shepherd Hoodwin.

Once you are in a relationship, how can you develop intimacy? One key is honesty. Some people tell little lies about themselves when they first begin a relationship. This is destructive to intimacy, because your partner will never be completely sure if you are telling the truth. It is much easier to maintain credibility if you...

Read more: Notes On Intimacy

The Hunger for Touch

by Valerie Ann WorwoodThe human being thrives on touch. An enormous amount of research has been done in recent years, on both human beings and animals, in regards to touch. The results show that lack of touch ("cutaneous deprivation") can lead, not only to emotional disturbances but also, to a lessened intellectual ability and physical growth, reduced sexual interest, and even a weakness of the immune system.

Read more: The Hunger for Touch

Connecting Emotionally

John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

Whether people are struggling to save a marriage, to cooperate in a family crisis, or to build rapport with a difficult boss,they usually have one thing in common: They need to share emotional information that can help them feel connected.

Read more: Connecting Emotionally

From Intimacy to Hatred

Brad Blanton, Ph.D.Soap operas are full of people who are in love and start withholding from each other. The nostalgia for what used to be, combined with resentment and hope for renewal, produces what we call romantic love. Romantic love is highly overrated. Romantic love is not as strong as a new friendship based on telling the truth. .

Read more: From Intimacy to Hatred

Icing on the Cake

Aluna Joy Yaxk'in

by Aluna Joy Yaxk'in.

In my recent conversation with my sister Connie, I was sharing the state of my life. I feel emptiness because I do not have a deep and intimate personal relationship. Victories and adventures are dulled when there is no one home to share them with. When I was finished, Connie said, "Sounds like you have all the icing without the cake."

Read more: Icing on the Cake

Leave Your Cover

Alan Cohen

Beyond all of the material gifts we share, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the truth of who we really are. While true love invites us to come out and stand naked in the sun, fearful "love" asks us to hide who we are for the sake of holding on to a person or relationship. When you think about it, how valuable can a relationship be if you have to live in the dark to keep it?

Read more: Leave Your Cover

What I Love Most About You...

How often do you tell the special people in your life exactly what it is that you love most about them? How often do you identify what's good about your spouse, lover, children, sisters, brothers, dad, mother, uncles, aunts, friends, and colleagues -- and actually put it into words so there can be no doubt?

Read more: What I Love Most About You...

From Relationship to Partnership

 Paul Brenner, M.D., Ph.D.Donna Martin, M.A.Many relationships end up focused on differences and so are based on a certain amount of friction, competition, and tension. Our intimate live-in relationships offer us a constant reminder of the work we still have to do. If we are successful, we can transform an ordinary relationship into the precious gift of partnership.

Read more: From Relationship to Partnership

Love Yourself

Sylvia BrowneYou've been inundated with erroneous information. It becomes terribly hard to try to figure out what's right. You're inundated by all types of moralistic behavior, commandments, church rules, and law. Behavioral modification is probably the most simplistic.

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Share Your Secret

25 Things You Can Do To Feel Even Better Right Now by Bill Chandler.

Quietly, to yourself, think of the one thing you most want no one to know about you. Maybe you had an affair, or a nose job; maybe you stole something once, cheated on your income taxes or had an abortion. Sometimes the dirty deed seems absurd. I had a woman confess to me in tears that years ago she had...

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Can't Compete with Love

Alan Cohen by Alan Cohen. We experience repetitious patterns in relationship, work, or health; different actors are showing up to play out the same role. Eventually we recognize that it cannot be an accident that the same type of people keep doing the same things; it is we who have drawn them according to the signals we are radioing to central casting.

Read more: Can't Compete with Love

If You Cared About Me, You Would...

If You Cared About Me, You Would...by Elayne Savage, Ph.D. We're programmed to have unrealistic expectations from movies and TV, from romance stories promising wonderful experiences with people who anticipate our every wish. We want someone to be always caring, always considerate, always loveable, always giving. But these romantic illusions too often leave us feeling cheated...

Read more: If You Cared About Me, You Would...

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From The Editor

peoples climate march

A Weekend To Bend The Course Of History

In September, heads of state are going to New York City for a historic summit on climate change. With our future on the line, we will take a weekend and use it to bend the course of history. In New York City there will be an unprecedented climate mobilisation – in size, beauty, and impact.

To Do That
We Need To Act – Together

Can't make it to NYC?
Find a location nearer to you.

 

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