Releasing judgments of yourself and others is a magical authenticity enhancer. One of the qualities Buddhists strive for on the path to enlightenment is called “sameness of being,” or “sameness of bearing.”
It means being exactly who you authentically are, no matter who you are interacting with. The examples given are usually in reference to how we address those we perceive to be in positions of power above us or beneath us. For example, one who practices sameness of bearing would speak to the president of his company in exactly the same manner he spoke to the janitor of the building he worked in.
Acting Differently When with Family, Friends, Neighbors, Co-Workers, Strangers?
But my “Aha!” moment with this principle several years ago went beyond mere power-positioning. I had been happily giving successful out-of-town personal-development workshops as part of my travels to schools across the country, but had not yet attempted that genre in my hometown.
When I did finally decide to offer a workshop at a local metaphysical center, I sent out an e-mail inviting everyone I knew. I thought of it as a bit of a coming-out with my new career direction, away from mainstream publishing and into the more spiritual and metaphysical realm I’d been privately passionate about for so long.
Who Am I? Who Am I Supposed To Be?
I bombed horrifically. It was by far the worst workshop I ever led, and that was entirely due to my own internal, last-minute freak-out. I hadn’t anticipated it happening, but when I looked at my audience and saw my neighbors who knew me one way, intermingled with the parents of my kids’ friends who knew me another way, intermingled with my very metaphysically minded friends who knew a completely different side of me . . . I froze.
My brain literally could not sort out who I was supposed to be in that moment. I suddenly became uberaware that many of these people had come merely to support me and were not actually interested in my subject matter. That shouldn’t have made any difference, but it did.
It was humbling to realize the extent to which I still routinely contorted myself to fit what I imagined to be people’s expectations of me. And like all painfully uncomfortable experiences, it provided a power boost for my growth in that area. The Buddhist “sameness of bearing” principle took center stage in my self-dev routine after that, and it’s still a pivotal piece of my consciousness practice. Thank you, Universe, for that awful experience.
It’s Nothing Personal: Letting Go of Worrying About What People Think of You
To be your most authentic self, you must get over your habits of worrying about what people think of you and taking things that other people say or do personally. I highly recommend the books of don Miguel Ruiz. One of his life-transforming Four Agreements is: Don’t take anything personally.
Appreciation is the opposite of taking something personally. You can’t appreciate something and judge it negatively at the same time. Appreciation cancels judgment. And freeing yourself from judgment keeps you in vibrational alignment with everything you want to bring into your life.
©2012 by Lisa McCourt. All Rights Reserved,
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com
This article was adapted with permission from the book:
Juicy Joy: 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self
by Lisa McCourt.
Juicy Joy is an invitation to a bigger life—a deeper, richer, more rewarding existence. It is a streamlined path to radical authenticity and the ability to flat-out adore that precious, imperfectly perfect you. Wouldn’t it feel amazing to trust your instincts and fearlessly act on them? Isn’t it time to gain mastery over your experience of life, shed victimhood, and learn to honor the voice within you that always, unfailingly leads you to your greatest joy and highest truth?
About the Author
Lisa McCourt’s best-selling books about unconditional love have sold more five million copies. She has taught her juicy-joyful, sometimes shocking, always delicious methods to thousands in her popular presentations and online trainings. Lisa lives in sunny South Florida with her two self-loving kids. Visit her at: www.LisaMcCourt.com