InnerSelf

New Attitudes - New Possibilities

Communication

Communicating in Relationships

Men and Women Feel Things Differently: Guts and Hearts

Men and Women Feel Things Differently: Guts and Hearts

by David Kundtz. Many studies have shown that women's brains are wired differently from men's so they can both feel and recall both positive and negative emotions more strongly than men. The crucial point to understand here is that just because women seem to be more comfortable in the emotional realm, does not mean that men don't, can't, or shouldn't thrive in it...

Read more: Men and Women Feel Things Differently: Guts and...

Dear Men: How To Understand Women

Dear Men: How To Understand Women -- by Barry Vissell

by Barry Vissell. Can men and women really understand each other? Sometimes it seems like the wall between the sexes is impenetrable. At my annual men’s retreat last month, the difficulty understanding women became a central theme. One after another of the men shared his challenges with his female partner...

Read more: Dear Men: How To Understand Women

How to Listen: Ask... Then Listen

How to Listen: Ask... Then Listenby Joyce Vissell. When you ask someone a personal question, do you sit back and listen to their response without any interruptions? Or do you fill in the waiting period with more questions and other talking? Most of us would right away say that we are like the first type of person or at least we want to be. Oddly enough, most people are like the second and don’t realize it.

Read more: How to Listen: Ask... Then Listen

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

by Marie T. Russell. "Don't tell me what to do!" We've heard that said many times... we've even said it, and at times when we didn't say it, we thought it! "Don't bug me! Don't get on my case! Don't tell me what to do!" Sounds like a teenager speaking... ah! but it is! It's that inner teenager that most of us still carry around inside.

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The Four Rs

Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D.Relationships don't just fall apart overnight. There are warning signs to look for, signs that your levels of emotional tension are rising and that the relationship is in trouble. I call these warning signs the Four R's. The Four R's encompass the four stages of tension in a relationship...

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Emotional Intensity

EDWARD HOFFMAN, PH.D.,Marcella Bakur Weiner, Ph.D.

Do you consider yourself an emotional person? For centuries astute observers of the human condition have noted that people vary remarkably in this dimension. Emotional Intensity clearly plays a major role in love relationships, yet has oddly been all but ignored professionally...

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Ten Truth Skills: Essential Communication and Life Skills

Ten Truth Skills: Essential Communication and Life Skills

by Susan Campbell, Ph.D. Honesty does not come naturally to most people, but it is a skill that can be practiced and learned. I feel a deep sadness when I hear people tell me how much they have been hurt in their dating relationships and how this has caused them to approach each new relationship with fear or to give up on relationships altogether.

Read more: Ten Truth Skills: Essential Communication and...

Recharging and Connecting to Others

Recharging and Connecting to Othersby Eve A. Wood, M.D. When most people are asked what they want to be remembered for, what matters most to them in life, or how they'd spend their remaining days if they only had a few left, the majority focus on relationship issues. They want to matter to someone, to love and be loved, and to contribute to making someone's life better.

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How to Stop Fighting

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D."Communication" has become such a buzz word for what couples need to do that it's lost meaning. What you say and how you say it certainly matters, and I'll focus on ways to talk more effectively later. First, though, I want to emphasize that you can cut down on headache-causing strife using any number of strategies, most of which don't involve struggling for the right words.

Read more: How to Stop Fighting

Deep Listening

Traditional models of couples or relationship therapy emphasize being honest about our feelings, being "up front" and standing up for ourselves. The problem with these models is that when we are upset, we do not see things clearly. We do not see how the situation looks to the other person...

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Giving Advice

Roberta Maiselby Roberta Maisel. Giving advice is one of the points of greatest tension and conflict in our relations with our children. Parents want to help their children out of scrapes and difficult situations by telling them how to do it better. But giving advice often makes matters worse.

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Can You Negotiate Love?

Negotiating Love by Riki Robbins Jones, Ph.D.

by Riki Robbins Jones, Ph.D.

If you're in a relationship and are ready to deal with your conflicts, don't be afraid. You and your partner have the power to share your feelings and needs -- and reach agreement peacefully. Is it possible for you and your partner to resolve smoothly the differences that arise in your relationship? Can the two of you have conversations that are safe and mutually supportive?

Read more: Can You Negotiate Love?

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