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Facing
Cancer
on My Own
by
Jill Schneider
In
February of 1975, when I was 29 years old, I was
diagnosed with cervical cancer. I had no pain or other
symptoms, and would not have had any idea I was sick if
the cancer had not shown up on my annual Pap test, which
had come back from the lab marked "Class Five:
conclusive for malignancy."
I
received the news from a concerned receptionist at my
gynecologist’s office, who said I should come in and
have another test taken so they could double-check the
results. I did, and spent the next few days wondering
whether I would die, or ever be able to have children.
And then the same results came back.
It’s
funny. There I was, young and seemingly healthy,
listening to my doctor describe something hidden within
my own body that had the power to kill me -- or at the
very least to substantially change me. He described all
the options at my disposal, invasive procedures every
one, starting with what’s called a conization, in
which a cone-shaped section of my cervix would be cut
out, hopefully taking all the cancerous tissue along
with it. But that might not be enough, he told me. I
might still need a hysterectomy -- the removal of my
cervix and uterus, and perhaps my ovaries as well.
As I
thought about what my doctor said, I became convinced
that the line of treatment he outlined was all wrong for
me. It seemed painful, complicated, and disharmonious
with nature.
I
started feeling that I am not my body -- that
ultimately, my life was in God’s hands. There was a
part of me that said, "Thank you, God, for giving
me this experience. My body is a channel through which I
experience this life." But there was another part
of me that had a keen desire to live a long and healthy
live. I also wasn’t going to let anything take away my
potential for motherhood.
At that
time in my life, I was a meditator -- pretty heavy duty,
a couple of hours a day. Through meditation, I’d
developed a very strong center, and there weren’t many
things that could shake me up. Two years earlier, I had
spent a few months in India with my spiritual Master.
After that, I’d moved into an ashram.
I was a
committed vegetarian, dabbled in Hatha Yoga, and was
curious about Eastern philosophy and medicine. I had
come to believe that with any disease, just treating the
symptom isn’t enough. The imbalance that created it
will just find new territory to invade and destroy.
Thus, I believed that the Pap test was telling me
something: I felt that there was a stagnation and a
depression within my reproductive system. Cleansing and
rejuvenating the area through natural means made
unqualified sense to me. Before I tried anything
invasive, like surgery, I had to give my body a chance
to respond to non-invasive, natural methods.
This was
twenty-four years ago, but I still remember with
remarkable clarity how I felt when I was trying to
explain this to my doctor. My heart was beating a mile a
minute as I asked him whether I could give natural
methods a try for a month and be retested then. He just
looked at me and said, "Jill, I don’t think we
can work with you anymore. We really want you in the
hospital this week."
I left
the gynecologist’s office shaken. I felt like a child
who had defied the school principal and gotten expelled.
I’d never challenged an authority figure before; I’d
always been a basically obedient, law-abiding person. I
was disheartened, but I had to do what I believed was
right.
At the
time, I was taking a course called "The Theory of
Oriental Medicine" with Ralph Alan Dale, Ph.D., an
acupuncturist and author of Acupuncture With Your
Fingers: An 18-point Healing System
(Dialectic Press, 1989). I told Dr. Dale about my
diagnosis, and on his advice I telephoned Michio Kushi,
a nationally-known authority on macrobiotics and founder
of the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts. Macrobiotics is
a natural diet and lifestyle system based on the
oriental principles of yin and yang and their presence
in whole, organic foods. It is aimed at restoring an
energetic balance and wellness through diet and
lifestyle changes.
Over the
years, thousands of people have used the macrobiotic
approach to cure themselves of cancer and other
diseases; diets typically are customized to suit an
individual’s unique needs. Kushi suggested I
immediately start on an extreme macrobiotic diet that
required me to eat nothing but cooked brown rice for ten
days. Chewed many times in a relaxed and meditative
atmosphere, the rice became a liquid that I visualized
would bring loving, life-giving and healing energy to my
body and mind.
After
ten days, I gradually added other grains, vegetables,
seaweeds, seeds, beans, miso soup, and a small amount of
fruit to my meals. I steamed the vegetables or sautéed
them in small amounts of cold-pressed oil. I eliminated
all spices and flavorings except for tamari. At every
meal, I meditated on how the food I was eating had been
created just for me, to heal my body , and cooked with
love. I taught myself to think of the food as my healing
tonic, my medicine.
Dr.
Dale, also referred me to a local acupuncturist and
herbalist, who I’d visit twice a week. After my
acupuncture treatments, he’d take me into a little
kitchen area and offer me sweet potatoes and herbal tea,
and then give me a hard little ball of herbs - about a
half-inch in diameter - that I would chew on. I never
asked him what they were ( he spoke very little
English), but I’ve since learned that Chinese medicine
uses many different herbs to treat cervical cancer. My
sessions usually lasted about an hour.
Think
back, it seems really odd to me that I never thought to
ask this acupuncturist what he was giving me. But I have
to remind myself that this was in the mid 1970’s, when
patients didn’t question their doctors - even the
non-traditional ones. Back then, I was enough of a rebel
to see an acupuncturist in the first place!
On my
own, to augment the macrobiotics and Chinese medicine, I
placed heated castor oil packs on my abdomen for about
twenty minutes a day. I had read that Edgar Cayce, the
psychic healer, had used this method to treat cervical
cancer. Cayce used to go into a psychic trance, from
which he could determine specific treatments for each
patient. His prescriptions were later cross-referenced
and compiled into books so that people like me could use
them as well.
After a
month, I made an appointment with my mother’s
gynecologist ( I had decided not to return to my own
original doctor). He was not a lot happier with my
decision to forgo standard treatment than my first
doctor had been, and wanted to perform cryosurgery which
would mean freezing my cervix to slow the growth of the
abnormal cells. I refused. He finally agreed to give me
a Pap test. This time, the results were better, showing
some pre-cancerous lesions on my cervix. Still not
normal, he said, but remarkably improved. It was enough
for me, though: I was convinced my cancer was in
remission and that I was on the right path.
It has
always amazed me how many people can learn that there is
something seriously wrong with their bodies and then go
on living the same sort of lives, thinking that just
because they are taking some drug (or getting
acupuncture or using some herbs) everything is going to
be better. I believed then -- and still believe today --
that we also must do something to change the environment
from which our diseases form. In my case, I felt an
incredible pull to travel. So off I went.
With a
few good friends, I visited Peru and Venezuela. We had
no itinerary; we just knew we wanted to hike in the
Andes and spend some time among the descendants of the
Incas. I felt that just leaving the cities of North
America would be an essential part of my healing
process. On the trip, I kept up the macrobiotic diet I
had begun. I carried my own cooking utensils and brown
rice in my backpack, and I supplemented my diet with
organic vegetables grown by the indigenous people whose
villages we visited.
Walking
through ancient ruins and sleeping in primitive
dwellings, I began to feel a sense of clarity about my
life. Out of my familiar urban environment, I was at
peace with myself and the world. I believe it was a
major component in my healing to break away from the
routines and unhealthy energy of my life back home.
I felt
so much better when I got back home in June. I was
certain that my cancer was on its way out of my body. I
went to my new doctor for another Pap test. This time
the result was normal. The doctor warned me that this
test result was no guarantee that the cancer was gone --
it could be just a temporary improvement, he said. But I
knew better. And I’ve had a Pap test every year since
then, and each one has been normal.
Two and
a half years after I returned from South America, I gave
birth to my son Aaron, who is now twenty and attending
university on a full scholarship. I’ve never had a
recurrence of cervical cancer. Since my cure, I moved to
Texas, where I lived as a vegetarian and rely on natural
healing methods on those rare occasions when I fall ill.
Cancer swept me into a reality of how temporary and
precious it is to have a human body. It was one of the
wake-up calls of my life.
Recommended
book:
The Natural Way of Healing:
Women’s Health
by The Natural Medicine Collective with Rebecca Papas (Dell Books,
1995).
Info/Order book
About The
Author
Jill
Schneider is a self-motivated, vibrant
leader, published writer,
singer/songwriter/guitarist and producer
with extensive expertise in Holistic
Healing programs for children and adults. Her
website is www.circle-of-life.net
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