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Healing
Communication
by
Rick Phillips
The
present condition of human communication is
primitive. We may think that because of the
development of high-tech machinery,
fiber-optic communication networks, and the
ability to see and hear into the far reaches
of space that we must be quite advanced in the
field of communication; after all AT&T
guarantees that we can talk to natives in New
Guinea. But all this is just technology that
broadens our boundaries of the universe; it
has little effect on our ability to listen
with our heart to another being or, for that
matter, to God/dess. Being able to clearly
hear a voice overseas does not mean we are
really listening to that soul. Hearing only
means that the ear is perceiving sound. Real
listening is conscious.
We
are poor listeners most of the time. Even if
we are listening, communication requires a
medium of connection and the ability to make
sense of the information that is being
relayed. The language of the information must
be processed (translated) into understanding.
Language must be learned; if it is not, the
result is thought to be a serious block to
human development.
Since
interpersonal communication is the flow and
exchange of energy between people, it is not
only a daily part of life but a necessity of
life. We don't live on a deserted island. We
need to communicate every day and, for most of
us, it is the activity we engage in more than
any other. Whenever we are with others, we are
drawn into relationship and communication
connects us to that relationship.
The
dynamics of communication can be simplified.
At any given moment, communication includes
the one who is giving energy and the one who
is receiving that energy. In his book Between
People, Dr. John A.
Sanford uses the analogy of playing catch. One
person holds the ball and announces his
intention to throw the ball to another. He
goes through the motions and propels the ball
into the waiting hands of the other. For the
game to succeed, there must be some rules by
which to play i.e.;
-
don't
throw the ball until I'm ready to catch
it;
-
don't
throw it over my head; and
-
don't
throw it too hard.
In
other words, in this game, let me treat you as
I would like you to treat me. The game may
last as long or as short a time as we both
agree. If we can't agree, one or both of us
may feel hurt. Then our emotional bodies get
involved and add more difficulty to the
process.
The
object of the "communication" game
is not to be competitive. It is not like
tennis, in which we are trying to hit the ball
so it can not be returned to us, or like
football, where we must stop the person with
the ball from reaching the goal. The purpose
of communication is for both people to
benefit: the one who gives feels fulfilled in
the giving, and the one who receives feels
fulfilled in receiving. When both people can
give and receive, the process works perfectly.
Likewise, in our spiritual life we have to be
open to the flow of energy in both directions.
We don't just demand of God/dess; we
communicate so that we can both give and
receive. We experience both sides of the coin
in balance, and each side is full.
More
practically, if someone is talking to us, we
must not just hear them; we must be ready to
listen and respond. This is a skill we learn.
It requires the ability to be in the present
moment and to be open to what the other wants
to share with us. This is not always easy;
many issues can block what seems to be a
simple process. Do I even want to listen? Am I
prepared to listen? Many times we assume the
other is available, willing, and interested.
Such assumptions may be based on false beliefs
or empty wishes. Also, am I physiologically
able to listen -- am I fatigued or clearly
attentive? For example, how many school
children are really able to listen to their
teacher on a hot, muggy day after a heavy
lunch? Sometimes we ignore such simple causes
for communication failure.
Continued:
Shutting Down, Taking Risks, Pure Intention
 Recommended
book:
"Peace, Love and Healing : Bodymind
Communication and the Path to Self-Healing - An Exploration"
by Bernie Siegel
Info/Order
this book
About The
Author
Rick
Phillips draws on over twenty years of work as a practitioner in
spiritual and psychospiritual fields. He is cofounder, with his wife
Rachel Kaufman, of the Deva Foundation of New Mexico, where he works as
a facilitator. Rick is a practitioner of Chinese medicine, and has
taught meditation practices. For additional information about Rick and
his work, you can reach him at: Deva Foundation, P.O. Box 309, Glorieta,
NM 87535 USA, by phone at 505-757-6752 or by email at 102465.2707@CompuServe.com
This article was excepted with permission from his book Healing
Communication: A Psychospiritual Approach, published by Deva
Foundation, NM 87535. You may order his book at www.deva.org
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