How to Raise a
Loser in Life
by
Jerral Hicks, Ed.D.
If a
parent wants to raise a child who is self-centered,
uncaring, unable to take care of himself, and most
likely to fail as an adult, just do the following:
1. Give
the child everything he wants, let him do whatever he
wishes whenever he wishes, but, of course, only after
you have first said no and he has whined or thrown a
temper tantrum.
2.
Whenever he is accused of wrongdoing, always refuse to
believe it; accuse others of picking on him and defend
him at all costs.
3. Don't
give him any responsibilities. Do everything for him.
This way he'll expect the world owes him a living.
4. Don't
worry about commitments to others. Whenever you or your
child change your mind, that's okay.
5. Let
him stay out at night as long as he wishes, and don't
concern yourself with what he's doing. Trust that he's
learning to take care of himself.
6. Fight
with your spouse regularly, especially in the presence
of your child. Then get a divorce and blame your child
for the divorce.
7. Blame
your child for everything.
8.
Become a habitual abuser of alcohol, use illegal drugs,
and refuse to practice common etiquette in your child's
presence.
9.
Complain regularly in your child's presence about how
unfair the world is, how untrustworthy people are, how
people who are racially or ethnically different are the
cause of all problems.
10.
Never admit to your child that you are wrong, never
apologize for a mistake.
11.
Never take time to listen to your child or take his
wishes into account.
12.
Never tell your child that you love him. This way he'll
be better prepared for a rough and tumble world, a
"dog eat dog world" where only the strong
survive.
13.
Teach him that it's okay to do whatever he wants as long
as he can get by with it (avoid getting caught).
14.
Always compare him unfavorably with his brothers and
sisters, telling him things like, "Why can't you be
like your brother?" and, "Your sister wouldn't
have done that," and show obvious favoritism toward
his siblings, letting them do things he is not allowed
to do, and giving them more than you give him.
15.
Raise your child in a chaotic, unorganized home
environment where there is little or no routine so his
life will be filled with uncertainties and
inconsistencies.
16.
Physically or sexually abuse your child. This way he'll
grow up hurt and angry, more likely to abuse others,
especially his own children.
Parenting Factors Leading to Emotional Problems
In
summary, children who end up later as adults with
emotional problems, a lack of constructive direction in
life, and difficulties in leading socially-compatible
lives are often the result of several parenting/home
factors. Most common are:
1.
Inadequate supervision by parents.
2. No
limits placed on child's behaviors by parents.
3.
Undesirable parent role model.
4.
Physical/emotional abuse or neglect of the child.
5.
Failure to teach a child a sense of
self-responsibility.
6.
Failure to teach a child a sense of community
(constructive identity with others).
7.
Poor attendance and achievement at school (often
becomes a school dropout).
Good
children, then, don't happen by accident. They are the
result of a persistent, conscientious effort by caring
parents. Parents have to care enough to supervise their
children adequately, to say no when appropriate, to
insist that their children learn to do for themselves,
to insist that their children stay in school, and so on.
This is neither simple
nor easy. But the reward of seeing one's child grow up
and do well in the adult world makes it all worthwhile.
 This
article is excerpted from The
Challenge of the New Millennium - Winning The Struggle
With Ourselves, ©1997 by Jerral Hicks, Ed.D.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New Falcon
Publications. http://www.newfalcon.com.
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