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Gaining Time
by Sarano Kelley
Humans invented the measurement of hours fairly early on in our history. Then
we added minutes and seconds. We've only recently conceived of the nanosecond.
We've forgotten that time is fiction, a simple measuring device we created in
our history as a human race. We imbue time with significance, judge it as being
"quality" or not, and race against it. Where are you rushing to? You really have only one clear destination -- six
feet under the ground. Why would you be in such a hurry to get there? Why are
you moving so fast that you can't stop to see the enormity, beauty, and wonder
of the world in front of you? Why must you always put off your life until later,
someday, when you have time? Why is now never quite good enough?
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Shifting Your Time Priorities
To help you change how you relate to time, I've designed a very simple
A-B-C-D system for rating the value and immediacy of the things you do every
day.
- A Activities are those such as lovingly preparing your children for bed. A
Activities nourish you. They include physical exercise, prayer, meditation,
writing in a journal, and listening intently to family and friends. Your
motto for A Activities will be: Just do them!
- B Activities are reactionary. This is when the doctor tells you that if
you don't exercise, you're going to die, as opposed to the A Activity of
exercising without the threat of imminent demise. B Activities can be found
in the world of crisis. Your motto for B Activities will be: Eliminate these
by getting them handled now.
- C Activities are those things that are best done by someone else. Making
your children's beds when they could be doing this for themselves, or
handling papers that a clerical assistant could be filing are C Activities.
If you're like me, you may be a bit of a control freak. When I want
something done, I feel I have to do it myself. This means that I'm often
doing things others could do better. Your motto for C Activities will be:
Delegate these.
- D Activities steal and drain your energy. Time you spend daydreaming,
gossiping, and criticizing yourself and others are D Activities. They
produce little and take away a lot. Your motto for D Activities will be:
Stop doing these!
By using this simple A-B-C-D system for categorizing how you spend your time,
you'll be able to analyze why you're not being as highly productive and
efficient as you could be. Engaging in B, C, and D Activities prevents you from
fulfilling your life goals.
Time-Wasting Relationships
You can also look at how you spend your time in terms of the people you have
relationships with. I've classified relationships as A, B, C, or D. This isn't
for making judgments about people, but only to help you gain clarity on how you
relate to them. Very fine and upstanding people can have inefficient or even
hurtful relationships that bring out the worst instead of the best in each
other.
- A Relationships restore and nourish you. An example of an A Relationship
would be a personal coach; or depending on your religious tradition, your
priest, rabbi, or spiritual advisor. Certain ways of relating to spouses,
family members, and friends form A Relationships because in an uncritical,
loving way, these people hold you to a higher standard. A Relationships
expect you to fulfill the purpose of your life, and this makes them priority
relationships. You're engaging in an A Relationship when you spend time with
yourself. Your motto will be: Spend most of your time with A Relationships.
- B Relationships tend to maintain the status quo. Most friends, clients,
and even family members fall into the category of B Relationships. I give
friends a bum rap in The
Game, because a friend typically accepts all the excuses you offer
for not being great, and they may even supply some you haven't thought of.
Friends often relate to your insecurities, because your fears and weaknesses
are compatible with theirs. B Relationships are often very nice and loving. In
marriages, partners often become B Relationships for each other. You can
transform a B Relationship into an A Relationship by asking the person to
support you in achieving your goals, and to lovingly let you know when you're
not keeping commitments to yourself. Your motto will be: Transform B
Relationships into A Relationships.
- C Relationships are the passersby in your life. They're associates, and
usually you can barely remember their names. They're not your friends.
They're not contributing to your well-being and may be a drain on your time,
energy, and other resources. Your motto will be: Spend as little time as
possible with C Relationships.
- D Relationships are the people with whom you gossip, commiserate, or
whine. D Relationships hurt you and take energy away from you. Your motto
will be: Spend no time at all with D Relationships.
You'll want to analyze how much time you spend in A Activities with A
Relationships. Let's say you're spending time with yourself. This, of course, is
an A Relationship. But what if you're daydreaming the entire time you're alone?
That would mean that you're not doing an A Activity with an A Relationship.
Spending time alone and planning your day so it's more productive and fulfilling
is an example of doing an A Activity with an A Relationship.
Here's a new rule: Spend the majority of your day doing A Activities with A
Relationships.
Perhaps Game-player Greg Kadet summed up this principle best by saying,
"Everything I do, every person I interact with, must further my
destiny."
How Effective Are You?
I've noticed that most of us aren't willing to admit it, but we actually only
work about 45 minutes to two hours a day. If you can't see it in yourself, maybe
you have time-wasters in your office. They're the walking dead. This is why I
say that most people are overwhelmed but underworked.
How much of your day, of your life, are you puttering away, spinning in
circles without ever accomplishing much? To get yourself into motion right away,
I suggest that you double your pace. You've probably been under the illusion all
your life that only slow and steady wins the race. You've been told that moving
quickly will cause you to make more mistakes. Sometimes this is true, but
experiment. See if moving at double your usual pace really makes you less
efficient. You may be surprised to find that for the most part, you haven't been
working; you've been daydreaming.
What is the single most inefficient thing you do all day? Your most
unproductive activity might be getting up and down for a cup of coffee or a
cigarette. This most inefficient activity is something you'd classify as a D
Activity, and you'll want to find a way to eliminate it so you can clear a space
for more A Activities.
What's Important to You?
If you're ever going to change your relationship with time, you have to
figure out what's important to you.
Game-player Leslie Nelson says that by the age of 30, she'd spent most of her
time pushing herself too hard at the expense of her personal life. Leslie
suffered a lower back injury. This turned out to be something that showed her
just how out of touch with her own needs she'd become. Leslie says that for two
weeks, she was only able to work one hour a day, compared to her usual eight to
ten hours.
She writes:
It took a couple of days for me to adjust to my physical limitations. I
literally had to lie on the floor, because this was the only position that
didn't cause severe pain.
To my surprise, I started getting used to and even enjoying being on the
floor. I noticed the trees swaying in the breeze outside my window. I
watched the fish swimming in the aquarium. I observed what goes on in my
house during the day as the animals walked around. I'd missed all these
things while I'd been so preoccupied, even though I worked at home.
During those precious two weeks of only working one hour and spending the
rest of my time on the floor, I realized that I'd lost the joy of being
present in my own life. I'd been so busy thinking about work that I'd
removed myself from the things that were most important to me.
I discovered that I'd lost life's precious moments with my constant
flurry of activity. I realized I'd been on a track that would have led to
losing my good health. I was the kind of person who would have had a heart
attack in her 40s. I love to work. I never stop. But constant work isn't
good for my health.
I completely re-created my schedule to regain balance and perspective in
my life.
Expanding Time with Multitasking
As you develop a wonderful partnership with your mind, you'll think of
creative ways to accomplish more than one thing at a time. This is true
multi-tasking, in which you maintain maximum focus, energy, and presence, while
doing simultaneous non-competing activities. Multitasking done well allows you
to squeeze between the spaces of life and create more time for yourself.
Multitasking can teach you the difference between velocity and speed. I'm
sure you've seen people who are working very fast with much exertion, effort,
and a look of disgust or worry on their faces. They're focused on getting things
finished quickly, and they're usually making a lot of mistakes. When speedy
people try to multitask, others see them as being confused, busy, or overly
ambitious.
Velocity is a different process. It's more like the experience of being
"in the zone" or fully connected with what you're doing, as opposed to
rushing or hurrying. When you're operating with velocity, you feel a sense of
inner calm and peacefulness, as if you're outside of yourself watching what
you're doing. With velocity, others see you accomplishing many things
effortlessly while remaining focused and serene.
Multitasking Versus Confusion
Sometimes people think they're multitasking, but they're just confused.
They're driving, drinking coffee, and listening to the radio while trying to
read the newspaper. I'd call that being distracted, not multitasking.
Examples of confusion are:
- Eating while working. These two tasks aren't compatible because working
distracts you from fully tasting, chewing, and digesting your food.
- E-mailing or typing while you're talking on the telephone. These two
activities are incompatible because you may respond with a lack of
concentration to the e-mail, while giving the person on the other end of the
phone the impression that you aren't fully listening.
- Paying your bills while your children are trying to tell you something.
These activities are incompatible because your kids may feel that you're not
interested in what they're saying or could think your frustration about your
bills is being directed at them.
Examples of true multitasking, where you maintain focus and balance while
doing simultaneous, compatible activities, are:
- Reading a novel while pedaling a stationary bicycle. These are compatible
because the exercise is repetitive and doesn't require a lot of attention,
and you can enjoy the act of reading as well.
- Doing push-ups against the wall while riding in an elevator. These are
compatible activities because it's not necessary to be focused on any thing
while you're standing in the elevator, and pushing away from the wall
doesn't require a lot of attention. Almost any kind of physical activity is
compatible with waiting around for something to happen.
- Listening to audiocassettes while driving in your car, or while running or
walking. This is a good use of time, since while driving or exercising, you
might otherwise occupy your mind with meaningless daydreaming.
Multitasking by Collapsing and Folding Time
I've shared my childhood fascination with comic books. Some other reading
material that captured my attention as a child was science fiction, especially
the classic series Dune by Frank Herbert. Some of the characters he wrote about
had extraordinary powers. They could collapse space and fold time, which enabled
them to travel across galaxies in an instant.
In The Game, you will learn how to be a time traveler, too -- to collapse
time and fold space. This means learning to bind together seemingly disparate
activities that you want to accomplish -- doing laundry while listening to
classical music or an audio book -- so they occur seamlessly and simultaneously.
This is what you're doing while playing The Game -- you're creating a seamless
life where you can combine activities and gain the power of velocity.
On the other hand, your Game might require that you go in the opposite
direction of multitasking in order to achieve a balanced life. Game-player Bill
Meyer summarizes this idea effectively.
He says:
Time-packing, multitasking, and efficiency in all things are admirable
skills to develop. But sometimes I just need to walk on the treadmill with
no reading, no technology, and no company research, and be complete with
doing one activity well. When I focus on one thing at a time like this, I
take pleasure in the footfalls and the breathing. Sometimes a walk is just a
walk.
You decide how you want to change your relationship with time. After all,
it's always your Game and your life.
Exercise: How Much Is My Time Worth?
Write down what you want your annual income to be. Divide this amount by 52
to figure out your weekly rate. Then divide your weekly rate by 40 to get your
hourly rate. Let's say, with these calculations, that you realize that to make
the amount of income you desire, you should be earning $ 100 per hour. When you
look at how you're spending your time each day, which activities are
$100-per-hour tasks? Is watching television a $ 100-per-hour activity? Is
finding out the birthdays of your best customers and sending cards to them worth
$100? Is organizing your workspace for maximum productivity and efficiency a $
100-per-hour task? Only you can decide. Based on what your hourly rate needs to
be, decide if your typical daily activities are ones you should be doing,
delegating, or eliminating.
Exercise: Planning Your Powerful Day
Plan a powerful day by spending the major portion of your time doing A
Activities with A Relationships at your peak efficiency times. Start by figuring
out how you'll do more nourishing things for yourself, your family, and the
people you love. Then see how much time is left for work. By eliminating as many
B, C, and D Activities; and B, C, and D Relationships as possible, notice how
much of your day opens to more productive and satisfying habits, practices, and
relationships.
Next, look at your powerful day to analyze when you might multitask or expand
time and fold space. How could you combine activities and relationships, or move
at double your usual pace? Could you get up earlier to experiment with morning
efficiency, thereby making more time for yourself?
This article is excerpted from The Game: Win Your Life In 90 Days,
©2001, by Sarano Kelly. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Jodere
Group, Inc, Distributed by Hay House, Inc. http://www.hayhouse.com
Info/Order
this book.
About the Author
Sarano Kelley grew up in a gang-infested neighborhood in Brownsville, New
York, and became a Vassar graduate who was earning $400,000 as a stockbroker on
Wall Street by the time he was 23. He is a well-respected motivational speaker.
Sarano coaches financial professionals in the areas of relationship building,
management, business development, and negotiation. He teaches them to take
control of their time and their lives by putting great ideas into motion to
produce results. Kelley founded The Center for Excellence and TheCoachingProgram.com,
which offer coaching and corporate training based on the principles in his book,
The
Game: Win Your Life in 90 Days.
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