Letting Go of Fear

by Aeeshah Ababio-Clottey
and Kokomon Clottey

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
                           -- KAHLIL GIBRAN

As we have looked deeply into the pain of racism over the years, we have come to realize again and again that we could never heal these awesome wounds without some kind of spiritual support. We have seen through the years that we can deal with blatant discrimination through legal channels and receive some corrective action, but these kinds of compensation cannot heal hearts. Our goal is deeper healing, and this requires spiritual as well as practical and supportive processes. We want nothing less than total release from the pain and fear that racist conditioning breeds. This means looking deeply into the part we all play in keeping the separation alive.

We ask you to walk with us as we describe how we began to move through our fears. In our own lives, the principles of attitudinal healing proved invaluable to this process. Saying to ourselves, "Health is inner peace, and healing is letting go of fear," offers us an important step along the path to healing. To truly start to live this basic principle takes us to the next level-that of actualization in our world.

Sometimes we fear that if we forgive someone we perceive has wronged us, our forgiveness will let the "bad guy" get away with it. We are afraid to trust the law of compensation (sometimes called the law of karma or the law of cause and effect) to work on the worldly plane, but our task does not include judging our co-workers, our neighbors, or those we think have wronged us. Our task rather lies in loving ourselves unconditionally, and extending that unconditional love out to all we meet. Healing our mind of racial overtones in a society that was formed out of the fabric of racial categorization poses a challenge. However, as we rise to meet this challenge, this practice frees us from the world of conflict and fear.

Transforming Fear to Peace

Not too long ago, I (Kokomon) worked for a delivery company as a courier. It was the month of December, and I had on a coat to protect me from the cold. I went to Lake Merritt Plaza to deliver a package to a business on the twenty-fourth floor of a large building. I entered the elevator, and while I was waiting for it to take off, a young white woman walked in. As soon as she was in, the door closed and the elevator took off. She was also going to the twenty-fourth floor. Just as she was about to press the button, she realized the light was already on.

At this point, she registered that there was somebody else in the elevator and that this person happened to be a black man -- me. Fear came over her; it was palpable. I could tell she was very, very afraid of me. She was an attractive woman dressed in black, wearing some type of coat over a black mini-skirt.

Because I could sense her fear, I took a position as far away from her as I could. The inside of the elevator ceiling was decorated with a mirror, so I could look at her just by glancing at the ceiling. She had her head down, and she was in her corner, and I was in mine. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head, because I had been reading stories regarding the lynching of black men in America who for one reason or another had been accused of raping white women. When I sensed that she was afraid -- she was actually trembling with fear -- I got alarmed. I became very frightened myself. What if this woman were to level an accusation against me? How would I defend myself? This was very disturbing. I focused on the elevator panel and the signs of progress from floor to floor. I could feel my own fear growing.

Then, I realized that I could do something to help me let go of my growing fear. I could make a different choice. I took a deep breath and started repeating to myself a prayer to acknowledge that my spirit and the woman's spirit were one, that we had one mind, and that that mind was one of love and kindness and nothing else. I transmitted the idea that I had no interest in who she was other than to respect her as a woman and a human being -- that I did not know her, I didn't want money from her, and I had no interest whatsoever.

I found it amazing that by the time the elevator was passing the eighteenth floor, she was getting the message -- by mental telepathy, by love, by whatever you want to call it -- that we just happened to be in the same elevator at the same time, and that's it. I noticed that her energy was changing. I could see in the mirror in the ceiling that she was beginning to look at me, and she could see that I was on some important mission, and that she just happened to be in the elevator. She turned to me, and greeted me. All of a sudden she said out loud, "I am no longer afraid of you." I took a deep breath and turned to her. I wanted to ask her why she'd been afraid of me. I was very shaken by the whole experience, as she validated my perception of her fear. What could have caused that fear, other than the fact that I was a black man? I didn't know her.

This is the work of prejudice, I thought to myself. Prejudice is an unfavorable opinion or feeling that is formed beforehand. Because of her preconceptions, this woman feared me for no other reason than that I was a black man. When she said, "I am no longer afraid of you," I wanted to ask a million questions. Had she been offended by a black person or a black man before? Had she had any altercation with a black person? What information had she picked up from the media? But I was tongue-tied, and I was also on my job, so when the elevator reached the twenty-fourth floor we parted, and I went about my business.

The experience stuck with me, though, revealing both the fear that prejudice leads to, and the healing power of loving thoughts.

Continued in Part 2: 
Inner Peace & True Health;
Putting the Principle into Practice
 

This article was excerpted from "Beyond Fear: Twelve Spiritual Keys to Racial Healing" by Aeeshah Abadio-Clottey & Kokomon Clottey. ©1999. Excerpted with permission from the publishers, H J Kramer, PO Box 1082, Tiburon, California. All rights reserved.

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About The Authors

Recipients of the Jampolsky Award for Exemplary Work in Attitudinal Healing for the Racial Healing Project and the Ghana Project, Aeeshah Abadio-Clottey and Kokomon Clottey are internationally recognized for their workshops on racial healing. Together they founded the Attitudinal Healing Connection in Oakland, California, and Ghana, West Africa. The Attitudinal Healing Connection's website is www.ancestralhealing.com.

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