Ask the Swami

by Swami Beyondananda

Dear Swami:

It would seem that with all of the powerful group meditations being done these days, that someone would use meditation to help reduce crime in our cities.  In fact, I seem to remember that there was some kind of experiment a while back, but I don't remember hearing what the result was.  Do you know anything about this, Swami?

Sara Ann Rapp,
Midland, Michigan

Dear Sara Ann:

As a matter of fact, I know just what you are referring to.  Several years ago, 2,000 meditators converged on Washington, D.C., a city long plagued by senseless, random crime.  After six months of rigorous, focused meditation, I am happy to report, senseless random crime was cut in half!  For some inexplicable reason, however, pre-meditated crime was up sharply.

* * * *

Dear Swami:

I have often heard you refer to your humble beginnings in Oklahoma and your beloved guru, Harry Cohen Baba, but I've never heard you say much about your dad.  Is there some dark family secret lurking there?  Did your father have any significant influence on your life?

Tab Lloyd,
London, England

Dear Tab:

Yes, it is true.  I came from humble beginnings -- literally.  I was conceived at a Humble gas station just outside of Muskogee, Oklahoma, and I tasted poverty at an early age.  And poverty tasted a lot like Spam.  During these early years, my father had many odd jobs (being odd made him particularly suited for this kind of work) until one day when I was about seven, he came home and excitedly announced that he had a new job.  From that time on, he was home only seldom, and I began to hear children talking about my dad in whispered tones at school.

"Mama," I said one day, "is it true what they are saying about papa? That he travels from town to town enrolling people in Dale Carnegie courses?" She took my hand, and I'll never forget what she told me.  "It's true, son," she said, "Your papa is just an enrolling stone."  But you know what?  He became one of the most successful recruiters in the country. On one of his rare visits home, I asked him for the secret of his success.

"Sonny," he said to me, "if it's one thing I've learned in life, it's never look back.  Whenever anyone turns me down, I just smile, tip my hat, and just keep enrolling along down the road to the next prospect. And that's why I have no regrets."

I took my papa's advice to heart, and time and time again it's proven true -- an enrolling stone gathers no remorse.

* * * *

Dear Swami:

I think our so-called criminal justice system is a waste.  Instead of really helping perpetrators become useful, productive citizens, inmates are just left to languish in prison only to become more bitter and alienated.  And worst of all, we the taxpayers have to pay to keep them there!  Isn't there some kind of program where these miscreants can earn their own way and make a positive contribution to society?

Xavier Onassis,
Palm Springs, California

Dear Xavier:

You know what?  I have a news clipping here that talks about exactly that kind of program.  The small town of Immodesto, California this past year came up with a unique way to employ exhibitionists sentenced to perform community service -- and save money as well.  Instead of wasting electricity running flashing yellow lights, Immodesto is using real flashers to slow down traffic.  First, they bought some surplus "Slow Down When Flashers Flashing" signs for next to nothing.  Then, they stationed an actual flasher about 500 feet past the sign.  Not only has traffic slowed at these crucial spots, but now it barely moves at all as curiosity-seekers from all across the state have come to observe the new traffic control program.  

Some controversy did erupt, however, when one out-of-town paper accused Immodesto of not just using convicted exhibitionists but also recruiting some out of work Bay Area actors looking to expose themselves to a wider audience.  Nonetheless, the flasher experiment has been successful and has even spawned some new programs.  For example, in nearby Napa, rageaholics are being used to stomp grapes at local vineyards as part of a new Stamp Out Anger! program.

About the Author

Hear the Swami’s wisdom with your own ears -- just click onto www.beyondananda.com. To find out more about Swami’s products and appearances on the "outernet", call 1-800-SWAMI-BE.

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